As was anticipated by most, Sunday was a solemn day of sadness for many in Kingsbury County, accompanied as it was by continued absence of communication from our government and diocese. Tears were shed, hugs were shared, and farewells were exchanged with our pastor and friend Father Gallagher.
That sadness will certainly linger, as it would at the departure of any fine pastor or good friend. However, his parting is not the sadness that will have the most lasting impact. Priests come and go, after all, even outstanding ones like Father Gallagher, and in our hearts we expect that. The best of friends also depart from time to time, although it is most often a decision of their own making, which is easier to take.
Instead the most regrettable sadness of this situation comes in the form of deep and almost universally felt disappointment. Disappointment in a government and religious bureaucracy that is restrained from serving because it is too disconnected, too removed from the reality of human life at ground level.
For some of us here at ground zero, it is our first personal experience with this disconnect. Unfortunately for others, this latest incident serves only to reinforce opinions and justify stigmas long attached to our federal goverment and the hierarchy of religious organizations.
Disappointment in our government is not all that unexpected. Sadly, we almost expect it to bumble and fumble with its burdens of paperwork and attempts to serve competing masters. That said, most still cling to the thought that the good people within our system will actually come through with a just solution for Father Gallagher. It is our belief, perhaps our hope, that our government is not yet so broken that human decency can still prevail. If that ends up being the case, however, it will have been accomplished not through lawyers, but through the herculean effort of several hundred active citizens and their elected representatives crying foul. One wouldn’t think it should be this hard to get the right thing done.
This incident highlights a slightly different type of disconnect within our diocese. One that seems to have led to differing perceptions and potentially misconceptions on the respective parts of the diocese and parishes involved.
The diocese apparently doesn’t understand why parishoners weren’t better informed of the details of Father’s case. They apparently don’t see the underlying meaning in the words parishioners use to describe their feelings. They apparently don’t understand why parishioners don’t believe everything possible was done on Father’s behalf. And they have been surprised by parishioner’s organized activity and the tremendous sustained push to help Father after being told that everything possible had been done to no avail.
For their part, parishioners don’t understand why repeated requests from Congressional representatives for diocesan support of these activities were denied. They don’t understand why they were told this decision was exclusively legal in nature, yet were later told their parishes would never be an option no matter the legal outcome of the case. They feel their well being was not genuinely considered as neither Father nor the parish were ever asked for input regarding the timing of his departure - a feeling that was reinforced by the diocese’s surprise in later learning that our parish is currently left with a gutted kitchen, a pile of rubble, and a hole in the ground next to our church where our rectory was removed in anticipation of a long planned building project.
The most important issue here, though, is not the actual truth behind any of these misconceptions or differences in perception. It is not about who is right and who is wrong. The real issue is the void that these misunderstandings highlight, the obvious absence of human connection and relationship between the diocese and the parishioners it serves.
As with any relationship, the unrest and misunderstanding here are likely rooted at least partially in each party. As parishioners, we could certainly seek more ways to interact with the diocese. We should work harder at that, and would welcome any suggestions to improve. But it is hard to imagine that more cries of suffering, more requests for help, more phone calls or letters could be sent to Sioux Falls than there were in this case, over a five week period - with virtually no response.
It is quite possible that as Father Gallagher’s parishioners, we are more sensitized than most to the inadequacy of this distant and removed approach. When we are struggling or in need of help, he is there - right then, in person, no matter the time of day, and for the duration. And when he needs something in return, we always find a way - we find it impossible to say ‘no’, it is somehow not an option. Over the last ten years we have become accustomed to his example of personal, loving, and demonstrated compassion - and it stands in stark contrast to the distance we feel from our diocese as of late.
For in Father Gallagher we have been blessed with the presence of someone who responds to the grace of God in a manner so natural it seems almost effortless, though it obviously takes tremendous energy. Through his lived example we have come to see more clearly that love truly is the Spirit of God, the heart of Christianity, and the purpose for our lives.
Love is the key, in fact, that unlocks the mystery of Father’s near universal appeal to most anyone he has ever met - no matter their creed. When you are around Father, you feel it. Something resonates with a truth placed deep within us all. Even when he approaches you for participation and work, you happily answer, knowing that he will have found the inspirational in the mundane, and that the effort will bring lasting happiness and meaning.
We have learned that the only true way to know love is to wholly submit to it, to experience it, to actively share it with others - and yes, to become vulnerable for it. Love’s efficacy cannot be found in instruction, it cannot be reduced to a set of statements or rules that are merely recited. Love must be lived to have its purposeful impact. And that means we must engage with one another.
Love means that communication is most often better than silence. It means that sooner is most often better than later. It means that a personal heartfelt delivery of bad news, a compassionate look in the eye, a hand held lovingly in support is most often better than a letter or a television broadcast.
Love means defending the weak in spite of the strong. It means standing up for what is right against the strong winds of wrong. It means going the extra mile, and then another. And most deeply, true love means putting God and others before yourself, sacrificing yourself despite personal risk and cost. Love is tested and defined in such moments.
This is not only the essence of Christianity, it is the core of what many of us feel is meant by being American. Martyrs have died for it, soldiers have died for it. And it is part of the reason we feel so disappointed, so disconnected at times from the organizations that are meant to uphold those principles and lead by example.
Without personal contact, without an energetic attempt at a personal relationship, without the understanding that closeness brings, we are never truly fulfilled as people. Even the most sincere intentions come off less than they would otherwise. Rationale that seems logical from a distance ends up ringing empty as a shallow cliche up close.
As a practical matter, it should come as no surprise when misconceptions appear in the vacuum of a relationship. On one hand, it is quite unlikely that the parties understand each others day-to-day realities. And on the other hand, no solid foundation is present with which to communicate and overcome difficulties in understanding. In this particular case, for perhaps a variety of reasons and circumstances, St. Thomas Aquinas parish in De Smet has not been visited by anyone from the Sioux Falls diocese in the last five to eight years - not even during this time of intense suffering and effort. No one can actually remember exactly when they last saw someone from the diocese, a fact which perhaps emphasizes the larger point.
It is important to understand that these observations are not meant as an indictment of any individual or group of individuals. We believe that our government and diocese are filled with good and well intentioned people. We also believe we share responsibility for this situation, for we imperfectly live the ideals mentioned as well, and always will. But in the wake of these events, it seems important that an attempt to discover the underlying issue is made, so that it can be raised and understood. It is only through acknowledging the situation that we can begin to make it better.
Father Stevens comes to town this week, a young man going to his first parishes. Many have observed that they would not relish his task, that he has very big shoes to fill. He undoubtedly does. But he comes to parishes that have witnessed a unique form of pastoral love, that have experienced it, cooperated with it, and partaken of it themselves. He will likely teach us much in his own right, but we are in turn well equipped, because of Father Gallagher, to show him what it means to love as a community of faith. What an advantage and blessing for a young priest! And how worthwhile that Father Gallagher’s gift can live on through us and propogate to a younger priest, who will take it in turn to his next parishes.
That said, we must recognize our relationship with Father Stevens will not happen instantaneously, it will grow over time just as all relationships do. And now it is time to get started doing just that.
Many have remarked that something good will come of all this, that the Holy Spirit is working for a purpose. Perhaps that purpose is larger than either we or the diocese thought. Perhaps through much much mutual suffering, the diocese and the parishes are to recognize it is time for us to start building a stronger relationship as well, a relationship built solidly on the loving Spirit as well as administration of the letter. The point may be that with this larger relationship too, it is time to get started.
Time will tell. We pray that it will be so. And assuming those prayers are answered, I’m sure nothing will put a bigger smile on Father Gallagher’s face.
No matter what the future holds, one thing is for certain. We owe Father one last sincere thank you, and a great debt of gratitude for his loving participation in what has been accomplished in our lives so far -
Job well done, good and faithful servant.
